This relationship is slowly killing me: how the pandemic is changing my relationship

Posted: April 15, 2020

It’s April but it’s more like day number 1,234,567 of the COVID-19 pandemic. Good thing is this post isn’t about the pandemic itself.

Maryland is operating under a stay-at-home order until further notice & life looks so different these days. Most of the days are being spent at home behind closed doors with our family, loved ones or friends. While some people are relaxing and binge watching Netflix, this is not the story for everyone. With more time at home with your spouse or significant other you may have noticed changes in their mood and in your relationship. They may be more temperamental which means more yelling, more arguments, more questions about spending on items, more phone calls or texts about what’s taking you so long at the grocery store, more frequent physical assaults or more aggressive intercourse. There may also be more requests for you to care for them, cook for them, or clean your home.

Because you have big heart and want to make them happy, you’re probably doing the best you can to predict all of your answers before they ask and to do everything just right to avoid any misunderstandings. Sometimes, it seems to be working and other times that light at the end of the tunnel is totally dim, right?

I am here to tell you 3 things:

1. You’re not imagining things.

2. It’s not just you.

3. You’re not alone.

What I’ve described are some examples of patterns of power and control that occur within domestic violence partnerships. First time hearing that? (Take a deep breath).

Domestic violence is rooted in power and control and one thing we may all have in common right now is that we feel a lack on control over our lives with the COVID-19 pandemic. At R.I.SE., we specialize in trauma focused domestic violence psychotherapy. We are here. If this sounds like you and you’re able and ready to safely begin therapy services, we would be honored to walk with you on your journey to healing.

If someone you know is experiencing domestic violence but is not safe enough to engage in our services, contact the Baltimore County 24-hour Crisis hotline at 410-828-6390 or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.