Hey, y’all. We’ve reached a point in the year where we have more of the year behind us than in front. In reflecting on the year as a trauma therapist, there have been a few recurring topics resurfacing. One of them is the connection between healing fatigue and perfectionism. A while ago, I created a blog post on Healing Fatigue that got very popular. As I continue to work on Healing Fatigue, it is important to discuss what is motivated by perfectionism.
What is Healing Fatigue?
For many trauma survivors, once they begin the work of healing, they realize that it is multi-layered. As a result, trauma survivors continue unraveling the layers, searching for new coping skills, and trying “all of the things.” At first, this quest feels like an adventure, a curious journey into self. However, over time, the adventure begins to feel like a burden and to channel Ice Cube, perhaps an “Are we there yet?” mindset on the road to healing. As a result, trauma survivors begin to tire of the healing journey, feeling feelings like anger, annoyance, exhaustion, burden, and resentment, to name a few.
What is Perfectionism?
Perfectionism, a concept with many interpretations, is a deeply ingrained belief that everything one does, says, or how acts must be executed at a high standard and without error. It’s the idea that everything must be flawless to be acceptable, that you must be flawless to be acceptable. This belief then shapes our views on failure, self-esteem, and criticism, creating a high-stakes game of ‘perfect or bust ‘. This mindset is quick to criticize is slow to congratulate creating a clear connection to Healing Fatigue.
How Healing Fatigue and Perfectionism Are Connected
Healing Fatigue is fueled by perfectionism in that a trauma survivor continues a search for improvement until they arrive at a state of flawlessness. Many trauma survivors hold beliefs that they are bad, which then get transposed into their healing journey as shame. It often sounds like, “If I can learn, do, or be_____(insert quality, i.e., self-control, gratitude), then I am _____(insert need, i.e., worthy).”
Other examples include:
Unrealistic Expectations: Perfectionists often set incredibly high standards for themselves, leading to constant pressure and stress. This can result in chronic fatigue as the body struggles to keep up with the demands.- Fear of Failure: Perfectionists may be afraid of making mistakes, leading to procrastination and avoidance. This can result in a buildup of unfinished tasks and a sense of overwhelm, contributing to fatigue.
- All-or-Nothing Thinking: Perfectionists often have an all-or-nothing mindset, believing that they must be perfect at everything. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-criticism, which can be emotionally draining and contribute to fatigue.
- Lack of Self-Care: Perfectionists may neglect their own needs in favor of meeting the demands of others or their own high standards. This can lead to physical and emotional exhaustion.
Perfectionism is rooted in a scarcity mindset that thrives off comparison to others and a future version of yourself. The roots of perfectionism are evident in almost every form of oppression because they are based on white supremacist and separatist ideals. But true liberation is not perfection. It is love.
Release Healing Fatigue and Perfectionism using Integrative Mental Health and Wellness in Baltimore, MD
As a therapist who offers integrative mental health services, I know that an integrative approach to unraveling healing fatigue and releasing perfectionism is vital. Consult today about how RISE can support you from our Baltimore, MD-based practice by following these simple steps:
- Reach out to me with questions.
- Start using the tools you’ve acquired through therapy!
Other Services at Revitalizing Inner Self Essence in Baltimore, MD
This year of transition is a great time to share other services at Revitalizing Inner Self-Essence. At RISE, one of my favorite things to do is share my knowledge with agencies and individuals using consulting, training,and presenting services. I specialize in combining trauma-informed interventions with mind-body interventions which are incorporated into consulting, training, and presenting services. Along with Mind-Body Medicine, I am trained in EMDR, Pranic Healing, and Sound Healing. I am currently learning Somatic Experiencing tools. If you are interested in getting to know more, fill out our contact form.