5 Domestic Violence myths everyone needs to stop believing, right now!
Last month was Domestic Violence Awareness Month. In true me fashion, I am reflecting on the past month. I saw many posts where folks told their story, stated facts about domestic violence, or provided contact information for local resources. I love to see this but this post won’t be that.
One thing I think we don’t discuss enough is myths. As defined by Oxford Languages, a myth is a widely held but false belief or idea. Regarding the topic of domestic violence, there are quite a few myths that aren’t discussed enough. Let’s dive in on 5 domestic violence myths:
Myth # 1: Folks that experience domestic violence are aware of its presence in the relationship.
Here’s the thing- many people that are in domestic violence relationships are familiar with dysfunction, chaos, and unhealthy attention. This means that to some the domestic violence dynamics are normal because they haven’t yet been exposed to the contrary. You don’t know until you know so some people really don’t know. This is normal.
Myth # 2: Domestic Violence only occurs with straight people.
I’ve heard this more times than I can count: “We are both women so it can’t be domestic violence”. Yes, yes it can be. Domestic violence is absolutely present in heterosexual and homosexual relationships. It’s not about the gender of the folks in the relationship; it’s about power and control. If there are elements of power and control then you may be experiencing domestic violence.
Myth # 3: Folks that experience domestic violence are dumb.
Ah, no. No, they aren’t. They are such beautiful people that believe so deeply in someones’ ability to change that they unknowingly may cause themself pain.
Myth #4: Those in domestic violence relationships can just leave.
No, no, and no. Did I say no? Leaving someone you love is hard for anyone but for folks in domestic violence relationships this can often mean the difference between life and death. When a person experiencing domestic violence, decides to leave this is when they are most likely to be killed. Therefore, the decision to leave must be a highly calculated one that is rooted in safety.
Myth #5: As a friend or family member there’s nothing I can do to help my loved in a domestic violence relationship.
Truth is, you can’t make anyone do anything they aren’t ready to do. But so often, family and friends disown their loved one because “they don’t get it or aren’t listening”. This is one of the most dangerous things you can do. Plus, can we stop acting like there’s no other way to show up for a loved one other than trying to convince them to do things you want them to do? Be a listening ear, provide emotional safety, spend quality time with them, and empower them to make their own decision by giving/suggesting books, tools, articles, or movies.
The most intimate relationship you’ll ever have is the one you cultivate with yourself. Now that you’ve read our take on the 5 domestic violence myths to stop believing, it’s time to show up for yourself. If you were in a past domestic violence relationship and are ready to begin the path towards healing. Contact us today.
Photo by Hello I’m Nik 🎞 on Unsplash